Inanna answers the door in a few steps, smile on his face that firms into a flatter line. He reaches for one of his warm coats hanging next to the door but leaves it there. Instead, he surges forward, quickly asks:
"May I?"
and wraps himself around Viktor, no matter that he's a few inches shorter.
"I have you. I have you. Come on in."
The outside doesn't spell it out. Inanna chews his lip but doesn't ask for an explanation yet.
Viktor wouldn't have known how to ask for any sort of physical intimacy so Inanna being the wiser of the two of them and being the first to hug him would be met with Viktor clinging to him for dear life. Even when Inanna speaks and invites him in, Viktor just nods his head but continues to cling. It takes a few minutes for Viktor to uncurl enough to allow himself to be led inside. Even then he still holds onto Inanna's hand as if afraid to let him go completely.
"...I had to see you. To be able to hold you."
Viktor took a deep, shaky breath.
"I...I found out what it means to lose all aether."
That haunted look was still there as he looked at his gloved hand.
"It means that I will feel nothing. No hate or joy. No shame or confidence. Nothing."
And here Viktor looked Inanna in the eye and ran the backs of the fingers of the ungloved hand down Inanna's cheek.
Inanna listens and wraps his arm around Viktor again to assure him that Inanna's right there. With him. No matter what happens. The explanation makes him swallow.
No love.
Losing what they have. Losing it all again. Inanna kicks back against the urge simply to curl possessively around Viktor, as though that does any good. Love is love. It comes and goes, and if it were what Viktor wanted— if it were what he wanted, it would hurt, but Inanna would accept it.
Viktor's hurried rush, his shaking, the way he caresses Inanna's cheek— it isn't what he wants. That eases part of Inanna's heart while breaking another.
It sounds like gods burning up using their gift except surviving the experience.
"We'll find a way to keep your aether. I'm never going to give you up."
Damn, moments like these are probably how that song came to be in the first place.
Viktor's fingers turned from a single caress to gently cup Inanna's jaw in order to hold him in place for Viktor's kiss. Maybe he could just hold Inanna like this in his arms forever and pretend that nothing bad would find them. Yes, losing what he had just started to be able to have had shaken Viktor to his core and made him afraid of using the magic locked inside of his hand. Probably moreso now than he'd ever been before.
"...it's almost funny, though I don't think I can laugh about it. I was mesmerized by being able to use magic when I came to Folkmore. Now I dread the next time I'm given another impossible choice between what using it can do to me, or not helping someone that really needs it."
Inanna parts his lips and accepts the kiss as fierce in return. Not desperate yet. He's a ways from desperate. Information means options. It means not walking in the dark. He finds Viktor's gloved hand and clasps it firmly.
He opens his eyes and tries to find Viktor's.
"Beware binary choices. They can be false. Perhaps it's time we learn what Myths can do."
His nails sharpen into (perfectly manicured) claws.
Inanna looks confused before he looks down at his hands in surprise. The nails, claws, are sharp and manicured—flawless. Beautiful he would say even under other circumstances.
"No, that happened on its own." A pause. "I'm fond of that hand."
Inanna sighs, more serious again.
"I only mean I've had binary choices laid out time and again, but the answer, the best answer, wasn't either of them. Laying out the decision as preserving your humanity or saving someone else—that's binary. You're a scientist, a Myth. You can think of other options."
He slowly mosies them over to the sofa. It's not far. Before they sit, he taps at Viktor's stone hand.
"So you're hungry."
Inanna's terrified, yes, but it's a familiar terror in so many ways. Something like godhood, if it were external and only killed your soul instead of all of you. Folkmore's supposed to be after all that, but here's the same old terror in another form. Only, they can't simply stop telling a story to make it go away. He gulps.
He was glad that Inanna wasn't intending to amputate his hand at least. Viktor also sat on the couch with a sigh.
"That's just it. From what I understand you have a finite amount of aether from the moment you're born. What's happening to me...well it's a first."
Unfortunately, Viktor could actually think of a choice that didn't mean a binary one. But the idea of essentially sacrificing someone's aether, and therefore them, was just as horrifying to him.
If Viktor were from his world, he'd definitely be gifted. Probably chosen for a Pantheon if the timing were right (by which Inanna means horribly wrong). Finite amount of energy being used up, eaten, consumed. He still remembers the imagery of the burned out husk of a god, one of the first.
"It might be, but you're in Folkmore now. There's more than aether here."
He's kept mum about Baphomet, stressful as it is. He doubts an answer that comes with 'and you die back home' is much help. However, Inanna has his own theories of what's possible, so much so he's a fool if he's wrong, as consumed as Baphomet will be.
Viktor held it up in front of him and then looked at his gloved hand with a definite frown of distaste.
"No, I don't. I didn't even know it was doing anything to me at all until Hythlodaeus looked. He was able to see what he called aether but I took it to mean life force of some kind."
Viktor shrugged a little.
"Apparently whenever I use the magic that I thought Folkmore gave to me, whatever is consuming my 'aether' is able to consume either more or do it faster. I was told that even if I never used the magic again, it was still being consumed, even if it was imperceptibly slow."
Inanna's ego is not so large to assume he has the solution to Viktor's problems—certainly not a grand one. Neither does he fall into a sense of powerlessness. So long as he's himself, he can take action that matters. His past actions prove that.
"It's good we know. Do you want ideas, to let it out, or something else? I'm here for whatever you need."
He knows how precious time can be but also emotional needs can be as important. Inanna rubs Viktor's wrist, above the gloved hand.
His wrist will also feel strange since the more he's used the magic, the more the strange metallic stone has grown to encompass more of his arm. Right now Viktor just keeps the frown though now it's become something much harder to determine than just distaste. Sadness or maybe just concern mixed with a definite feeling of personal conflict. Whatever it is it stays even when Viktor turned to face Inanna and hugged him.
"None of the above. I just wanted to see you, to hold you."
Some of the desperation from earlier is gone but Viktor is still hugging Inanna as he speaks.
"I've never been loved before and didn't know how it should feel until you showed me."
None of the above. Not binary choices. Inanna hugs Viktor back and leans his head against Viktor's. Some of his soft hair brushes Inanna's face, and for all the horror revealed, Inanna still feels some kind of safe and sound together.
"You have me. I love you no matter what happens. No matter—"
whether Viktor loses the ability to love him back. Inanna closes his eyes, tiny tears clinging to his lashes.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
<3
"May I?"
and wraps himself around Viktor, no matter that he's a few inches shorter.
"I have you. I have you. Come on in."
The outside doesn't spell it out. Inanna chews his lip but doesn't ask for an explanation yet.
no subject
"...I had to see you. To be able to hold you."
Viktor took a deep, shaky breath.
"I...I found out what it means to lose all aether."
That haunted look was still there as he looked at his gloved hand.
"It means that I will feel nothing. No hate or joy. No shame or confidence. Nothing."
And here Viktor looked Inanna in the eye and ran the backs of the fingers of the ungloved hand down Inanna's cheek.
"No love."
no subject
No love.
Losing what they have. Losing it all again. Inanna kicks back against the urge simply to curl possessively around Viktor, as though that does any good. Love is love. It comes and goes, and if it were what Viktor wanted— if it were what he wanted, it would hurt, but Inanna would accept it.
Viktor's hurried rush, his shaking, the way he caresses Inanna's cheek— it isn't what he wants. That eases part of Inanna's heart while breaking another.
It sounds like gods burning up using their gift except surviving the experience.
"We'll find a way to keep your aether. I'm never going to give you up."
Damn, moments like these are probably how that song came to be in the first place.
no subject
"...it's almost funny, though I don't think I can laugh about it. I was mesmerized by being able to use magic when I came to Folkmore. Now I dread the next time I'm given another impossible choice between what using it can do to me, or not helping someone that really needs it."
no subject
He opens his eyes and tries to find Viktor's.
"Beware binary choices. They can be false. Perhaps it's time we learn what Myths can do."
His nails sharpen into (perfectly manicured) claws.
no subject
"...um. I do hope you're not suggesting removing the hand."
Inanna didn't strike him as that bloodthirsty, but he wasn't honestly sure.
no subject
"No, that happened on its own." A pause. "I'm fond of that hand."
Inanna sighs, more serious again.
"I only mean I've had binary choices laid out time and again, but the answer, the best answer, wasn't either of them. Laying out the decision as preserving your humanity or saving someone else—that's binary. You're a scientist, a Myth. You can think of other options."
He slowly mosies them over to the sofa. It's not far. Before they sit, he taps at Viktor's stone hand.
"So you're hungry."
Inanna's terrified, yes, but it's a familiar terror in so many ways. Something like godhood, if it were external and only killed your soul instead of all of you. Folkmore's supposed to be after all that, but here's the same old terror in another form. Only, they can't simply stop telling a story to make it go away. He gulps.
no subject
"That's just it. From what I understand you have a finite amount of aether from the moment you're born. What's happening to me...well it's a first."
Unfortunately, Viktor could actually think of a choice that didn't mean a binary one. But the idea of essentially sacrificing someone's aether, and therefore them, was just as horrifying to him.
no subject
"It might be, but you're in Folkmore now. There's more than aether here."
He's kept mum about Baphomet, stressful as it is. He doubts an answer that comes with 'and you die back home' is much help. However, Inanna has his own theories of what's possible, so much so he's a fool if he's wrong, as consumed as Baphomet will be.
"Do you have a way to tell when it... eats?"
no subject
"No, I don't. I didn't even know it was doing anything to me at all until Hythlodaeus looked. He was able to see what he called aether but I took it to mean life force of some kind."
Viktor shrugged a little.
"Apparently whenever I use the magic that I thought Folkmore gave to me, whatever is consuming my 'aether' is able to consume either more or do it faster. I was told that even if I never used the magic again, it was still being consumed, even if it was imperceptibly slow."
no subject
"It's good we know. Do you want ideas, to let it out, or something else? I'm here for whatever you need."
He knows how precious time can be but also emotional needs can be as important. Inanna rubs Viktor's wrist, above the gloved hand.
no subject
"None of the above. I just wanted to see you, to hold you."
Some of the desperation from earlier is gone but Viktor is still hugging Inanna as he speaks.
"I've never been loved before and didn't know how it should feel until you showed me."
no subject
"You have me. I love you no matter what happens. No matter—"
whether Viktor loses the ability to love him back. Inanna closes his eyes, tiny tears clinging to his lashes.